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Every little thing Nikki Glaser Mentioned In Her Hilarious Golden Globes Monologue

Every little thing Nikki Glaser Mentioned In Her Hilarious Golden Globes Monologue


Nikki Glaser saved the jokes and the jabs coming on the 2026 Golden Globes.

The comic returned to host the annual awards ceremony, stay from the Beverly Hilton in Los Angeles on Jan. 11.

Glaser made historical past final yr as the primary lady to host the Globes solo, and proved that she was greater than able to deal with the massive gig. Forward of this yr’s Golden Globes, she instructed TODAY.com, “I’m working with the entire similar individuals. I’m going to all the identical golf equipment to work on the fabric. I’m occupied with the superstar’s viewpoint.”

When her second arrived, Glaser appeared on the stage in an off-the-shoulder crimson robe, a fast wardrobe change from her pink crimson carpet look, as Taylor Swift’s “Type” blasted within the background.

Nikki Glaser speaks onstage in the course of the 83rd Annual Golden Globe Awards at The Beverly Hilton on Jan. 11, 2026 in Beverly Hills.

Learn on for a full recap of Glaser’s 2026 Golden Globes monologue.

What Did Nikki Glaser Say in Her Opening Monologue?

Glaser made her method by means of a lot of the nominees, poking enjoyable at lots of the stars — and herself.

Listed here are among the highlights:

  • “Identical to ‘Frankenstein,’ I have been pieced collectively by an unlicensed European surgeon and good work.”
  • “There’s so many A-listers — and by A-listers, I do imply people who find themselves on a checklist that has been closely redacted.”
  • “The award for many modifying goes to CBS Information. Sure, CBS Information, America’s latest place to see BS information.”
  • “George Clooney is nominated tonight for the film ‘Jay Kelly.’ Sure, the place he performs George Clooney. He was so good.”
  • “Kevin Hart is right here. Sure, The Rock’s plus one-half…Kevin, you are so humorous, and also you and The Rock collectively are like my favourite comedy duo. You are, like, a Steve Martin and Martin Quick, however for, like, individuals underneath 50 IQ.”
  • “How good was Leo in ‘One Battle’? It’s insane. So good, so vaping good. What a profession you’ve got had. I imply, numerous iconic performances. You have labored with each nice director. You have gained three Golden Globes, an Oscar. And essentially the most spectacular factor is that you just had been in a position to accomplish all of that earlier than your girlfriend turned 30.
  • “You understand, everybody on this city is obsessive about wanting youthful. In the meantime, Sean Penn is like, ‘What if I slowly morph into an attractive leather-based purse?'”
  • “I am unable to consider it. We received two Michael B. Jordans. After I noticed that, I used to be like, ‘Nikki be jerking, as a result of that was superior.'”
  • “Timothée Chalamet is the primary actor in historical past who needed to placed on muscle for a film about ping pong. He gained over 60 ounces. It is insane. “

Reactions to Nikki Glaser’s Opening Monologue

To date, Glaser has acquired overwhelmingly constructive reactions on social media to her monologue.

“Really, why doesn’t Nikki Glaser host each awards present? She’s completely killing this monologue proper now,” one X person requested.

“Nikki Glaser didn’t repeat herself,” one other stated. “She raised the bar. One yr after redefining what a Golden Globes host may very well be, she got here again and delivered one of many sharpest, most assured opening monologues the present has had in a decade. At this level, it isn’t of venture. It’s a typical.”

A 3rd X person stated, “Nikki Glaser roasting CBS on CBS is iconic.”

“Few issues will make me change the channel from the NFL playoffs, however a Nikki Glaser opening monologue on the Golden Globes will,” one individual tweeted.

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